


i myself harbored no wish to shatter you

by oberonmartell



Category: Dream Cycle - H. P. Lovecraft
Genre: Fake Dating, M/M, his one (1) friend tells him this is a bad idea but is he going to listen? no, your local dumbass wants to fuck an eldritch monster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 21:35:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15715527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oberonmartell/pseuds/oberonmartell
Summary: Carter's courtiers won't stop pressuring him to make a proper dynastic marriage. Carter won't stop refusing.





	i myself harbored no wish to shatter you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earnshaws](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earnshaws/gifts).



Licano was the only one who screamed, which Carter was extremely impressed by. “Good job, kids.”

Though, he reflected, none of them were brave enough to make their usual “We’re not kids” snarky comeback.

The shadow in the magic circle appeared to stretch and bubble, as though it were a sac that the thing inside it was trying to escape from. “He’s…strong,” whispered Kuranes from his side, and Carter nodded agreement. “I’m certain we can hold him for long enough.”

“Remember that time you were _certain_ you could jump out the window of your dorm and be fine?”

“Shut up, he’s here!”

He was indeed here, as the circle flashed bright enough to temporarily blind the Pole twins, who had been looking directly at it.

“Randolph Carter, we meet again,” Nyarlathotep said in a voice that was clearly meant to frighten the grad students.

“This is not a chance meeting,” Carter said in his best kingly voice.

“Nothing is ever chance between you and I,” he practically purred. His current shape did look extremely catlike, but Carter knew he couldn’t focus on it for too long or it would hurt his brain.

“I need that favor as an apology that you owe me.”

“Ah, and what brings you to call it in now?”

“Never mind that, I just need a favor from you.”

“Well, explain. I do have a busy schedule, you know.”

“Off to bother your necromancer friend again?”

“He’s not my friend, I don’t have _friends_.”

“Be here three days from now at sunset, disguised as a human. I’ll explain the rest when you get here.”

”Oh, demanding, are we? You’ve grown a little bit more of a spine since becoming king.”

“Cost of doing business. Now are you going to leave of your own free will or do we have to make you?”

“I’ll go, I’ll go. No need to treat me like a _barbarian_ , Carter.”

“Then go. Sunset, in three days, look like a person.”

“Until then,” Nyarlathotep whispered, causing the circle to absorb the light around it, like flashing but in reverse, and vanished.

Silence fell among the group as the magic circle was dropped.

“Kalin, Katin, can you see?” Kuranes asked.

“Yes,” said one. “It was just like looking into the sun for a bit.”

“Everyone else okay?”

“Yes, _Dad_ ,” said Licano.

“Good job, everybody,” Carter said. “It’s pretty late, I think we should go to bed.”

“Goodnight, Your Majesty,” Arizal said, her red hair falling in her face as she bowed and led the rest of the kids out.

“Carter, a word?” Kuranes asked as he put the crown of Celephais back on his head.

“Sure, I’ll walk you to your rooms.”

“Carter, I say this as your friend but also as your peer. You know I’m happy to help you with magical things, but do you really think I can’t recognize _Nyarlathotep_ when I see him?”

“Listen, I just need him for one night, and then he’ll be off. And I can bind him to not hurt anyone.”

“Do you think I don’t know that three days from now at sunset is the night of the ball?”

“Well, it is.”

“Doll,” he said, the college nickname only being used in moments of strong emotion. “Are you so desperate to get your courtiers off your back that you’re bringing a _god_ as your date?”

“Yes, I am, I am that desperate, and if you heard half the things they say you would be that desperate too. I don’t _want_ to marry anyone!”

“You could marry me.”

“Ha.”

“You’re right,” Kuranes said, and Carter was surprised at his instant agreement. “It would never work. I think the crowns of Ilek Vad and Celephais are too diverse to be joined by whatever offspring we would have. But the advantage of pretending to date me is that you actually like me and I’m safe to spend time around.”

“And the disadvantage is that your courtiers would completely change their perception of you, and during our inevitable public breakup even more so. I know you have to play the delicate game of never favoring anyone in Celephais, and I don’t want you to go through that. Again, I like you.”

“I know you do.” They’d reached Kuranes’s door. “I can’t believe you’re making him do penance by putting up with court life.”

“I can think of no better way.”

Kuranes laughed. “True. Goodnight, Doll.”

“Goodnight, sweet prince,” said Carter, standing up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek.

“That stopped being funny a week into our friendship.”

“And now I’m a prince on par with you, so you can’t order me to stop.”

“You got me there. See you in the morning, let’s go out on the lake?”

“If you row. See you in the morning, Kuranes.”

Despite pretending confidence in front of his best friend and the only other person who knew about the plan, Carter was nervous. Even if Nyarlathotep actually showed up (doubtful) would he even agree to the scheme? And would he agree to more visits, to keep the deception going?

“I’ll sort it out in three days,” he said to himself, opening the door to his own rooms and dropping the bag of magical implements he’d been carrying.

Before falling asleep, he didn’t forget to write on his to-do list “Letters of recommendation for the four kids.”

***

_Carter dreamt of flood and deluge, standing on top of a mountain watching water eat the world._

_“Beautiful, isn’t it?” came the voice from behind him._

_“In the way terrifying things are.”_

_“The way you find me beautiful?”_

_“You’re not here,” Carter realized. “This is just my subconscious. This is somehow worse.”_

_“You find me beautiful,” Nyarlathotep’s-voice-which-was-not-him said._

_“In the way terrifying things are,” he said, and woke up._

***

“Do you want me to come with?”

“No, I’ll be fine. You actually might make it worse, he isn’t bound to not hurt you.”

“Yes, because gods of chaos keep their word _so_ often.”

“You don’t understand him,” Carter said.

“No, I don’t. But I don’t think you do, either.”

“He’ll be here in a bit. I’m going up. See you at the party.”

“Stay safe, Doll.”

Carter headed up the stairs in formal robes of state, always a challenge. His shoes were new and not broken in yet, and he almost tripped enough times to give up and float up the stairs to the top of the highest tower, which was his magic laboratory of sorts.

The sun was orange in the distance as he fidgeted with his sleeves and waited for his date. His robes were red silk shot through with gold, which Kuranes said made him look regal, but privately he thought his skin was too pale for the bright colors he apparently had to wear.

“Personally, I think you look lovely, Randolph Carter.”

Carter wanted to jump ten feet in the air, but forced himself to stay on the ground and be brave.

“I didn’t know you could show up without a dramatic entrance,” he said, pointedly not turning around.

“Is this acceptable?”

“What?”

“My…look.”

It was a much more than acceptable human form. He hadn’t gotten rid of the kohl, Carter saw as he turned, but that was far from the worst style offense.

“An _entire outfit_ , of _cloth-of-gold_?”

“Well, you’re dressed formally, I wanted to match.”

“Change.”

“As you wish, Your Majesty.” Nyarlathotep bowed as low as he could, and by the time he had risen, he was in sapphire accented with silver, but rather more sheer than Carter’s clothes.

“If you haven’t figured it out yet, there’s a formal ball tonight, and I need a date.”

“And are there not thousands of eligible people in Ilek Vad, let alone all of the Dreamlands?”

“My courtiers won’t leave me alone about making a marriage alliance with somewhere or other, so I need to pretend to be in a relationship so they get off my case about it.”

“I see. And what am I bound to do for you tonight?”

“Not hurt or kill anyone or damage any property.”

“I see.”

“You have a normal human name, and are a normal human person. You’re a...sailor, which is why no one has seen you around here before. We’re old friends, and-madly in love.”

“I see.”

“Is that all you say?”

“No,” he said with a laugh. “Who is aware of your clever little trick?”

“King Kuranes of Celephais. No one else.”

“What about those students up here the other night?”

“They’re not coming. It’s only dignitaries.”

“And none of them magical?”

“Not to the degree that they’d be able to tell who you are.”

“Sounds good. Shall we go?”

Carter offered him his arm. “Yes. Thank you so much for agreeing to this-Kuranes said it was ridiculous.”

“ _Ridiculous_ is what you specialize in, and I do owe you a favor.”

“So, what human name would you like?”

“Hm. I like…Angelo.”

“Okay. Angelo. Darling,” Carter said, tasting the word on his tongue. “Where did you just get back from a voyage to?”

“Dylath Leen. I was taking wine there from…wine country, and then I had a few weeks’ leave to visit my love, who has become a king in my absence.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

“Shocked, frankly, but proud and supportive and encouraging, because I’m a good boyfriend.”

“This will work,” said Carter, encouraging two people.

“Of course it will, sweetheart,” Nyarlathotep said, patting his arm.

What was truly shocking was how easy this felt.

***

“There! Just like that.”

“And what’s that knot called?”

“That one is a four-in-hand.”

“Fascinating-this was a lovely conversation, Angelo.”

“A pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir.” The king’s consort bowed and walked away.

“I tied the minister of the treasury’s sleeves together,” he whispered into Carter’s ear. Of course, he had to appear human, but even humans can cross a room very rapidly yet elegantly, without running into anyone. All they had to do was get lucky, and Angelo the sailor was quite a lucky man.

“You _what_?”

“I know! I don’t think he can get them undone.”

“You can’t do things like that!”

“You and I were laughing about his sleeves earlier,” Nyarlathotep said. “I thought…you’d like it.”

“It’s funny, but I can’t let you do things like this. Not to people I’m responsible for.”

“Aren’t they adults? They’re responsible for themselves.”

“Angelo, you have a lot to learn about what being king is-”

“Your Majesty,” came the unmistakable nasal voice of the minister of the treasury.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Yes?”

“It was your…consort I wanted, actually. You were in such a rush to get back, you forgot to untie my sleeves,” he said, almost apologetically.

“Of _course_! I am so sorry, sir, I wasn’t thinking at all.”

“He’s missed me,” Carter volunteered, in an effort to be helpful.

“Yes, that’s true, my mind is everywhere today. It’s not every day you find out the love of your life is the king of Ilek Vad now,” he said, hands working at the knots. 

“Once in a lifetime, isn’t it?” Carter asked.

“Definitely. There you go!”

The minister bowed and left.

“I stole his watch,” Nyarlathotep whispered.

Carter put his head in his hands.

***

“Carter,” Kuranes whispered in his ear, “are you comfortable dancing with _him_?”

“Yes. Why?” It was an immediate response, he didn’t have to think about it.

“Because you have to start the dancing, and I just wanted to let you know that if you don’t want him touching you, I’ll be happy to take a couple turns with you.”

“I’m fine. The ambassador from Inquanok has been eyeing you up all evening, go have fun,” Carter said with a smile. “I’ll wrangle my boyfriend.”

He walked off, smiling more than Kuranes had ever seen him do at the thought of dancing. “Hey.”

“Do you need me?” Nyarlathotep asked from his prime real estate next to the giant plate of woodland cherries.

“Yes, do you know how to dance?”

“I can figure it out,” he said, consenting to Carter taking his wrist and leading him out onto the floor.

“Do it fast,” he said with a smile.

“Oh, I will.”

Carter nodded at the musicians, and they struck up his favorite Mozart piece. He looked expectantly at Nyarlathotep, and then gasped for breath as he was whirled around in time with the violins.

“Something like that?”

“Y-yeah,” he said.

“Did I hurt you?” Nyarlathotep asked as they settled into a firmer rhythm.

“No, I liked it,” Carter said, and it was the truth.

They lifted and fell in time with the music, as Mozart alternated between stately and playful. Nyarlathotep kept a firm hand on Carter’s back, leading him through the floor and keeping him from stumbling into anyone. He was very grateful to be able to follow someone else’s sure steps, and finally felt like he could relax and enjoy himself while dancing.

“Want to try something?” Nyarlathotep asked, when there weren’t really any other couples in the immediate vicinity.

“What?”

Carter suddenly found himself released from the hand at his back, and equally suddenly found himself spinning, pleated robes twisting out around him. He heard gasps, in the distance, and felt a thrill wash through him.

Nyarlathotep spun him back into his arms. “That.”

“I liked it,” Carter said, smiling, half-breathless. “Do it again.”

“As you wish,” Nyarlathotep said into his ear.

He caught Kuranes’s eye this time. His friend looked a little apprehensive, but smiled to see him so clearly having fun.

The music continued and multiple other dancers stopped to look at them. They were certainly quite a pair, in their complementary robes and Nyarlathotep’s uncanny ability to anticipate exactly what Carter wanted, and where his feet were going.

“How far can you dip me back?” Carter whispered, as the song neared its close.

“Through the floor, if you’d like.”

“Let’s not frighten my guests.”

When the opening note of the last sequence was struck, Carter was duly bent backward until all he could see were the hanging lights on the ceiling, and felt other people stop to watch.

“Close your eyes,” Nyarlathotep whispered.

Carter forgot every apprehension he should have about that sentence, and did so without the tension at the side of his face Nyarlathotep had so often seen. As the last notes swelled around him, he felt lips on his that sent fireworks throughout his body, and made him grow desperate and foolish.

The applause from the rest of the court brought him back to his senses, and made him realize that his tongue was inside a god’s mouth, his hand in a god’s hair, and said god appeared to be entirely fine with, even enthusiastic about, this.

He made himself pull away. “Thank you. We can stop now, if you like.”

“Randolph Carter,” Nyarlathotep whispered in his ear, “we’re just getting started.”

They led the dancing for two hours after that, though it seemed two minutes to Carter.

***

“Your Majesty? Your Majesty?”

“No no no no no.” Carter buried his head in his pillow and refused to look at the door.

“Your Majesty?”

“Make them go away,” Carter whispered.

“Is that part of our deal for tonight?” Nyarlathotep asked.

“It is now.”

“Okay, I’ll kill them.”

“No, don’t _kill_ them, idiot! Just-make them leave me alone.”

Nyarlathotep smiled, leaned back against the wall, and let out a positively obscene moan that made Carter wrap the blankets tighter around himself.

The knocking stopped.

“ _Yes_ , right there,” Nyarlathotep said in an incredibly realistic imitation of a person having sex. “Carter, yes, I missed you so much-” He had the audacity to _whine_ , and Carter turned red with what he told himself was a normal reaction to this. He refused to make a sound, in fear of what might come out.

“Yes, please, darling, you’re so good at this-” He started to moan again until they heard the merciful shuffling of feet away from the door.

“How was that?”

“Um,” said Carter, unable to think of anything else to say.

“It worked,” Nyarlathotep said.

“It did.”

“You didn’t like it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re curled deep in the blankets and twisted away from me. You don’t like it. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Are you worried they’ll think less of you for sleeping with your long-absent boyfriend? Because I don’t think that’s how it works.”

Carter blushed again on “boyfriend,” and pressed his face into the pillow.

“Are you so disgusted by the thought of me?”

“I should be!” he shouted, angrier at himself than anyone. “I should never have done this, I should never have brought you here, I should never have entertained your idea of apologizing to me, I should never want to see you again!”

“If you want me to leave, I’ll go.” Carter felt the unmistakable sensation of spell preparation, and something in him made him desperately lunge out from the bed. “No, no, stay, stay, please!”

“Okay,” Nyarlathotep said, looking extremely confused.

Carter sat back down on the bed, patting the blanket beside him. “I want to talk to you.”

“Okay.” Nyarlathotep sat next to him. “Talk.”

“See, the thing is, I should despise you. You torture people for fun all the time, and deceived and nearly killed me not that long ago.”

“That’s why I’m here, because I’m making it up to you,” he said as though Carter were a very small child.

“But why do I trust you when you say that? Why did I call you here when you said yourself I could have anyone, and a fair number of them even willing to go along with this scheme? Why do I want you around, why do I _like_ you? And why am I actually telling you this?”

Nyarlathotep paused to consider Carter, who had brought himself near tears and probably looked a mess. He, as always, was immaculate.

“It sounds to me,” he said, “like these are _feelings_. Humans have those.”

“You have those too,” Carter murmured. “At least one.”

“Oh? What one is that?”

“Let me torture Randolph Carter again, because he’s stupid enough to ask for it,” he said from behind his hands.

“That’s not a feeling, it’s a thought,” Nyarlathotep said. “And I haven’t wanted to hurt you for a long time, Carter. I’ve tried to be helpful to you, and I’m truly sorry for trying to kill you. I know you don’t believe a word I say, which is generally a good idea, but if you want me around-which I think you do-you’re going to have to trust me when I say that.”

“You can’t tell me what to do.” It was an instinctive retort, oft adopted since becoming king of Ilek Vad.

“You’re right, I can’t. But I can ask you, please, to trust me, and tell me what’s really going on inside that head.” And he slid a hand through Carter’s hair, letting the strands fall between his fingers.

“It’s a terrible idea, but can you kiss me again?”

“All you had to do was ask,” he said, bringing Carter’s face toward his.

This didn’t feel like the kiss on the dance floor, that was a show for his courtiers. This was a gentle message for him, and no matter how much of a habitual liar Nyarlathotep was, Carter could never resist the feeling of being cared about.

“Thanks,” he whispered, pulling away. “Can we talk in the morning about how long Angelo needs to stay?”

“Angelo doesn’t have to leave.”

“Yes he does. You have things to do.”

“Nothing important,” he said. “The gods can manage without me.”

“It’s utterly unreasonable to ask you to pretend to be my boyfriend forever.”

“Is it reasonable to ask to really be your boyfriend forever?”

“You really just think you can come right out and say these things, don’t you?” Carter said, resigned.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’re terrifying and unsafe to be around, and the only reason I even have entertained the thought of being with you is because I knew you would never reciprocate, and now you’re saying you want me?”

“I have wanted you since I first caught sight of you, Carter.”

Shivers went through his body, and he pulled one of his smaller blankets up around him. “Go on.”

“You were walking out on the veranda of Kuranes’s palace. You were in a blue shirt and brown pants and you were trying to do a very complicated spell that no human should be able to even attempt, and you succeeded, and I noticed, and the look on your face when you realized you’d done it-desire is a very human thing, and I’m not sure if it was you or your power I wanted at first, but whatever the wanting was it ate me alive.”

“Why try to kill me, then?” he asked, aware that _Nyarlathotep is a liar_ but enthralled despite.

“I didn’t know how to else talk to you,” he admitted with a little smile. “I thought my lust would go away if you died, and quite frankly it was pretty inconvenient to be constantly thinking about some dumb human while I was trying to do other stuff.”

“You think it’s convenient to be thinking about you when I have to be a king, and I only have a tiny human brain?”

“You’re so beautiful when you’re irritated with me,” Nyarlathotep said, smile growing wider, and by now he was essentially begging to be shut up. So Carter kissed him, gripping his hair and pulling him backward on the bed. It was frankly embarrassing how often he had imagined a similar scenario, Nyarlathotep on top of him as he was nestled in the mass of pillows and blankets.

He needed to break off for air after a while, and opened his eyes to look up at the grinning eldritch god straddling his hips. “You like being under me?”

“Yes,” Carter said, pulling Nyarlathotep’s head down to kiss his neck. “Don’t bite my throat out.”

“No promises.” And he made his teeth feel so good Carter doubted he would have minded all that much. He had always liked being bitten, but everything Nyarlathotep did was on another level of pleasure, and they hadn’t even taken their clothes off yet.

“You know,” Nyarlathotep said conversationally from his left trapezius muscle, “you could have made me do this for you any time.”

“I was…scared to ask you,” Carter said, and it was mostly true.

“Regardless of how I felt about it. Am I not bound to please you? To _service_ you?”

Carter gasped as Nyarlathotep’s hands made their way downward across his chest. “I was asking you for magical favors. You’re a god, Nyarlathotep, not a whore.”

“I could be your whore,” he said in his ear, undoing where Carter’s robes fastened at the waist. “Would you like that?”

“This is _not_ fair,” Carter sighed as his too-hard cock was freed from his clothes.

“Let me stay, and I’ll be your slave. I’ll let you have me any way you want, and introduce you to some new ones, hm? I’ll be so good to you you’ll never even look at anyone else. You’ll be mine and I’ll be yours and we can stop this endless game of dancing around each other now that we both know what we want. Let me have you, please, let me show you how good I can make you feel…” Nyarlathotep ran his tongue over Carter’s nipple, feeling him more than hearing him gasp.

“Oh!”

“Yeah,” he murmured encouragingly.

“Can you-can you take your clothes off?”

The silk dissolved off his body like water. “Like what you see?”

“Yes…” Nyarlathotep leaned forward, letting Carter touch his skin. “You’re so warm.”

“You’re always shivering, so I made myself warm for you.”

“I wasn’t…”

“Yeah?”

“If I was around you, I wasn’t shivering from the cold,” Carter said, unable to look him in the eyes.

“Probably thinking about this kind of thing, weren’t you?” Nyarlathotep asked, making his way down Carter’s body. “Enjoying yourself so far?”

“Yes—yes, don’t stop.”

“Oh, I won’t,” he said with a wicked grin. “Not until you beg me to.”

“Cruel,” Carter choked out, as Nyarlathotep adjusted himself and Carter’s now-loose robes brushed over his cock. “Cruel chaos monster…torturing me…”

“You love it,” he said. “Do you want your cock sucked?”

“How…how is that a question?”

Nyarlathotep laid an arm across Carter’s hips. “Good human,” he said, leaning down to take Carter’s entire length into his mouth.

His genuine scream was the sweetest sound Nyarlathotep had ever heard. “ _God_ yes!”

He wrung more shouts out of Carter’s pretty little mouth (with barely any effort, truly, how rarely did this man get any kind of sex?) occasionally taking the time to kiss the inside of his thighs while stroking that nice thick cock. _That would feel so good to ride,_ he thought to himself, if of course he trusted himself to do such a thing.

“Carter, darling,” he said at one point when his mouth was free.

“Don’t stop now!”

“Roll over for me.”

Carter turned over onto his stomach, pressing his hips into the bed. Nyarlathotep kissed the top of his spine.

“Are you going to fuck me now?” Carter asked.

“Maybe.”

“Don’t be coy, just—” He wailed, actually wailed, when Nyarlathotep’s fingers found his cock, trapped between his body and the sheets.

“Honestly, how little _do_ you get laid?” he asked. “I’ve barely started with you and you’re already screaming loud enough to wake whoever’s in the next room.”

“I’m just...loud,” he said, blushing to the roots of his hair.

“Of course you are, but I asked, how much sex are you having?”

“Not...really any,” he said, blushing deeper. “It’s...been a while.”

“ _Pressing_ responsibilities?” The fact that he asked this while pushing Carter into the mattress and making his hips buck and his cock twitch was absolutely cheating, but cheating was his entire thing.

“Ah—ah, please, stop talking, just—fuck me, Nyarlathotep, fuck me—”

“You can’t tell me what to do,” he said in a sing-song mockery of Carter’s earlier retort. “And I don’t think you want to, do you? Do you?”

“I want—I don’t—” Carter whispered, feeling lips and hands move down his back.

“Tell me the truth, Carter.” He added the smallest bit of magic into the words.

“I want you to own me and dominate me and do whatever you want to me and then hold me and tell me I’m good after— _ah!_ ”

Nyarlathotep smiled, this being exactly the answer he’d been looking for, and softly ran his tongue over his human’s entrance.

Carter was screaming in earnest now, not caring who or what he brought down upon his head. Nyarlathotep could feel it, Carter’s entire world narrowing to his tongue— _his_! _He_ was making the most powerful dreamer in centuries scream like that. It was a hell of a power rush, and this from a god who destroyed cities on a whim.

“Please I—I didn’t even know you could do this,” Carter groaned, and Nyarlathotep was filled with a blood-freezing rage at whatever humans had held _Carter_ in their stupid mortal hands and hadn’t bothered to please him until he was wrung out and screaming and gasping for breath, at all of them who had squandered the opportunity to make his favorite darling best human forget his own _name_. The anger made him pick up the pace, and he didn’t even realize until Carter’s thighs were shaking, and he was trying to get out something about how he didn’t think he could last that long.

“Eager little human,” he said, disengaging his mouth from Carter’s ass, lovely as it was. “On your back for me.”

Just as Nyarlathotep had hoped, even when off on whatever astral plane of pleasure he was in Carter could still follow orders.

“Please, I need you, I need to come,” Carter said, voice heavy with exhaustion. “I need to—” Nyarlathotep cut him off by shoving two fingers in his mouth. He sucked on them immediately without even needing to be told, and Nyarlathotep performed a basic spell to slick up Carter’s insides. Technically he didn’t _need_ his fingers lubricated by someone else, especially so base a liquid as human saliva, but Carter sucking on his fingers and looking towards Nyarlathotep’s erect cock with those dark eyes, heavy-lidded from sex—if he weren’t a god, he might have come right then and there, or at least have been unable to resist the ever more insistent thought _Shove my dick down his throat and damn the consequences._

“You want me to fuck you, Carter?”

He nodded frantically around the fingers in his mouth.

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”

Carter nodded again.

“Good boy, that means I don’t have to loosen you up as much before we really get started.”

Carter gave him a look that, although wordless, managed to convey _Then what was all of that?_

“Humans truly have no idea how long good foreplay can last,” he said conversationally, pulling his fingers out of Carter’s mouth. “If I wasn’t so eager as well I’d have eaten you out for hours.”

Carter gulped, but the involuntary buck of his hips said _Yes, let’s do that sometime_ , and then Nyarlathotep slid a finger inside his human and neither his mind nor his body could say anything but _more_.

He added the second finger after a bit, Carter was loose enough but working him up was at least half the fun, approaching three-quarters. He would beg and plead, clenching around Nyarlathotep’s fingers, working the muscles to draw him in, saying “More, more, please, deeper,” and Nyarlathotep distracted the bit of his brain that was increasingly screaming _Fuck him, damn the consequences and fuck him,_ by thinking about what kind of spell he would need to do to keep Carter in this state for hours and hours (a whole day?) and never let him come.

Carter’s screams truly were intoxicating, and it wasn’t long before Nyarlathotep conceded, and managed to push in a third finger. Maybe he’d keep it at that, humans didn't need that much in order to come, he knew, and Carter was so tight.

 _All the more reason to fuck him for real_ …

 _I am fucking him for real, shut the fuck up,_ he said to his own head.

“Fuck me, Nyarlathotep,” Carter begged, Nyarlathotep only paying attention to the nonsense he was spilling out when Carter said his name. “Fuck me for real, please, I want your cock—”

“Is three fingers all the way inside you not enough?”

“Please, I promise I can take it. I want it. I want your cock inside me put it in me _please_ —”

Nyarlathotep absolutely could not say yes, but Carter was so cute, limp and helpless and begging, he couldn’t say no either. So he decided to put him back on the level of incoherent screaming by twisting his fingers a little, and hoping he would forget all about Nyarlathotep’s pleasure.

This worked for about ten seconds, until Carter had the audacity to try and grab at Nyarlathotep’s dick. He couldn’t reach, of course, but Nyarlathotep could not afford to lose focus, not now, not when he was so close to making Carter come. He twisted his fingers again inside him, two pressing up against that spot he could already tell Carter liked, and when he moaned and thrust his head back and his hips up Nyarlathotep grabbed at Carter’s cock with his free hand, which just made his body twist up in all those gloriously human ways even more. He needed to make his human come _now_ , so he worked his cock violently and thrust his fingers inside him even more violently, until Carter was stretched out and screaming himself hoarse, body flailing about.

“I’m gonna—”

“Go ahead.”

“I want—”

“Come for me, Carter. Do it now.” This last in Carter’s ear, like his threats atop unknown Kadath.

One tug on his cock, two, and then Carter was completely over the edge, eyes screwed shut and shaking with his entire body.

“Good boy, good boy—” Nyarlathotep slid his fingers out of his human and pulled himself onto the bed to take Carter in his arms, press Carter’s back to his chest and hold him as he came down from his orgasm.

“Oh—” Carter couldn’t really speak yet.

“You enjoyed yourself, huh?”

“Why didn’t you fuck me when I asked?”

 _This is your reward for putting off that explanation_ , said the voice in his head.

“Because I don’t answer to you,” he said, hoping that would put him off.

“You weren’t even touching yourself,” Carter said in a tone of discovery. “You didn’t come—why?”

“Listen, Carter, there’s things going on here—”

“Do you want me to suck you off now?”

“No!” Nyarlathotep immediately pinned Carter’s hands to his sides, making him unable to twist around and follow through on that. “Carter, listen. This form I wear is a mask.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to get fucked by the endless starless black of space,” Carter said, and Nyarlathotep wanted to slap him for his insolence but forced himself to remain calm and in control.

“So, when I’m in situations of extreme emotion and bodily stress, such as being murdered, or having an orgasm, the mask can fall apart.”

“And?”

“And? What do you mean and? I could turn into any number of things. Most of them have tentacles. I could reveal a form you aren’t able to even look at without going blind. Carter, it’s sweet of you to want to reciprocate, but I’ll handle this myself.”

Carter was silent for a moment, and Nyarlathotep thought he had finally talked some sense into his stupid, reckless human, but at the first twist of his hips— _he’s grinding on me. I literally just told him I could accidentally murder him if he makes me come and he’s grinding on me. How in the name of all the gods is this idiot alive—_ “You stop that, Randolph Carter, right now.”

“No.”

“No? I just told you, I could kill you. I wouldn’t mean to, but I could. Like I said, it’s sweet—”

“What if you turn into another form?”

“What?”

“What if you turn into a weird thing with tentacles that’s closer to your true form, and I suck its...tentacle dick or whatever. Then I make you come and no one gets hurt.” He tried to make Nyarlathotep unable to see it, but the Carter Blush™ was back and making its way down his neck now.

“That’s not how it _works_. None of my masks are closer or further away, they’re just different.”

“Okay, well, I still want you,” Carter said, smiling and settling his hips into a rhythm against Nyarlathotep’s cock that he had to admit felt amazing. “Want me like this?”

“Carter, you _just_ came. You’re going to be so tender—”

“I like overstimulation,” he murmured. “And I—there’s this magic thing I can do where I’m—I’m okay to go again in like, five minutes after.”

“Oh really?” Nyarlathotep said, running his hands experimentally up and down Carter’s thighs. “How’d you figure that one out?”

“Kuranes taught me when we were at Oxford. We would—we would lock ourselves in closets for hours and just—”

“He used to fuck you,” Nyarlathotep said. It confirmed a suspicion he had already had.

“I was a kid. And I was...weird about sex then. Scared. Ashamed. For a while I wouldn’t look him in the face while he—while he did anything.”

“Then what’s got you such a slut for me?” Nyarlathotep said, intending for it to be a joke.

“You feel so good,” Carter said, without hesitation. “I’d debase myself so much if you—that thing with your tongue—”

“Oh yeah? What would you do?” Nyarlathotep asked, feeling safe enough to move a hand up to the base of Carter’s cock.

“I don’t—do I have to answer that right now?”

“Yes, my little slut, you do,” Nyarlathotep whispered.

“I’d crawl,” he said. “On my knees. And I’d beg at your feet to do it to me again—”

Something inside Nyarlathotep snapped. He’d say it was the last fortress of the city of sanity, being besieged by Randolph Carter’s lust and idiocy, and unfortunately, gloriously, losing.

“I need to be inside you _right now_ ,” he said, pushing Carter forward until his head was almost hanging off the foot of the bed. “Carter, do you think you’re ready, I’m so hard…”

“If you do the thing where you magically slick me up, then yes, I can take it.”

“That’s a good human,” he said, and without any preamble other than the spell, shoved himself inside.

Carter screamed even more, if that was possible, and seemed even more enthusiastic about this than Nyarlathotep was. He’d intended to only slide into Carter halfway and slowly move in and out, but Carter had other ideas and moved back until Nyarlathotep was all the way inside him. This would probably be worth punishment, but Nyarlathotep was so desperate to come he didn’t have time for anything elaborate. “Eager little—” he began to chide.

“Call me ‘slut’ again,” Carter moaned.

“Eager little _slut_ ,” Nyarlathotep said, pulling Carter’s hair hard enough to hurt.

“I’m not sorry—” Nyarlathotep had started to thrust in earnest, which started yet another round of screaming, again utterly incoherent.

The mask was beginning to crack in places, he could feel it, but it would stay together for a bit. Carter wasn’t even looking at him, which would certainly help when it inevitably broke.

_What if next time he insists on doing a dumb human “making love” thing, where he looks you in the face the whole time?_

“Shut up,” he said, not realizing he said it aloud until Carter stopped screaming.

“Good boy,” he murmured. “Good human.”

“I’m yours,” Carter said at a shockingly normal volume. “Yours, yours...yours.”

“Mine,” he whispered, tightening his hands on Carter’s hips. There would be bruises in the morning, so many bruises.

He could feel his orgasm building in the pit of his stomach, but the mask didn’t seem to be cracking much more than it had been. _Why-_

_Spoke too soon._

Carter had started to fuck himself on Nyarlathotep’s cock, moving of his own accord and clenching his ass so tight Nyarlathotep had no idea how he wasn’t in incredible pain. “Carter—”

“I want to make you come,” he said, simply and matter-of-fact.

“I literally _just_ told you that carries a non-zero risk of death for you.”

“Well then,” he said, with the air of a hero (that _goddamn_ air, it got Nyarlathotep every time) “At least I died doing what I loved.”

Nyarlathotep immediately stilled. Not that it mattered too much, because Carter was still fucking himself— _how can he ride a dick when he’s on all fours and practically falling off the bed, this should not be possible_ —but he was too frightened to say, almost too frightened to think— _Me?_

“No, a really really fucking dumb decision,” Carter said. _How could he keep saying these things out loud without realizing?_ “Of _course_ I mean you, you stupid idiot.”

“Bold words from someone who was willing to beg me to lick his asshole not ten minutes ago,” Nyarlathotep said, but his heart wasn’t in it. It was an accepted fact in the Court that Randolph Carter was a madman, which Nyarlathotep had always denied, but—to say he _loved_ him— _him!_ —that was crossing a line.

“I love you too,” Nyarlathotep heard himself saying, which was obviously complete bullshit—Nyarlathotep didn’t even have human emotions like love, it wasn’t how he did things, how did he even comprehend _I love you too_? But here he was, saying it, and it felt so natural, and— _oh._

He fell over on top of Carter with the force of his orgasm, and panicked, checking the mask—

It was there. It was fine. He was fine. He was buried to the hilt inside a very irritated Randolph Carter, who was very, very close to falling off the bed, but he was still this human form, the beautiful young pharaoh that he had known would be the way to Carter’s heart.

“Are you a giant tentacle monster?” Carter asked.

“No, I’m still me,” he said. “Somehow.”

“Maybe you’re stronger than you think.” Gods were not _stronger than they thought_ , gods were exactly as strong as they knew they were.

“Can you...get out of me so I can get up?” Carter asked.

“Yes,” Nyarlathotep said immediately, pulling out and pulling back, hauling Carter back up to their former position and waving a hand to clean up the mess. “Are you satisfied?”

“More than,” Carter said, sleepy against his chest. “Can we do this again tomorrow?”

“Angelo will be here for a few weeks at least,” Nyarlathotep said, mindful of Carter’s earlier hesitation at keeping him around.

“Angelo can stay forever,” Carter murmured, and let himself be cuddled to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> stay tuned for more gay eldritchposting  
> find me on tumblr kitmarlowes or twitter angeluspolitian if you want to be friends


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